Once upon a time, in the land of Diabetes, there was a person named Martin. This stunningly handsome and striking specimen of a man had endured the variety of ways to treat and manage the kingdom of Diabetes his entire life. Having been abandoned in Diabetes at the wee age of two years old, he had lived through the olden days of determining blood sugar by careful aiming his sword at magic strips that could tell him the range of his blood sugar level.
Back in those days, Diabetes was managed quite differently than it is in our modern day. Similar to the race between the tortoise and the hare, two different kinds of insulin were used in relay to get our budding hero through the day: One a fast-acting rabbit-like insulin aimed at beating the gangs of sugars and carbohydrates at the beginning of the day, and the other a turtle-paced insulin made to finish out the battles as the day grew long. This type of managing Diabetes seemed to work reasonably well for a good number of years, until the evil dictator Adolescence descended upon the land and threatened to throw the whole world into chaos.
Adolescence would attack with severe low blood sugars, often resulting in visits to the dreaded land of Hospital, where to this day inflation runs wild and it takes nearly a lifetime to escape. As Adolescence continued its terrible reign of…um, terror…our fearless hero Martin teamed up with his trusty wizard, Endo, and called upon the forces of Multiple, Daily, and Injections. Armed with the power of MDI, Martin was able to defeat the evil Adolescence back to the twisted realm of Puberty, and for many more years peace once again ruled the kingdom.
But alas, peace was not meant for a lifetime. As the years wore on, Adolescence’s cousin, Adulthood, came to power in the realm of Puberty and declared revenge on Martin. Adulthood struck suddenly and deliberately, causing seizures, confusion, and shaking from fear. Adulthood would attack at even the most innocent of times, during exercise, vacations, trips to the market, and even during sleep. Adulthood screamed from the mountaintops, “Hear me Martin, your MDI is no match for my wrath!”
Tired, nearly defeated, and not knowing what to do, Martin turned to his trusted wizard and said, “Endo, I just can’t do this anymore. I try so hard, and feel like I’m doing everything right, yet Adulthood still manages to outsmart me in this land of Diabetes.”
Endo knew Martin’s heart was pure and true, and that his will could never truly be beaten. With a mighty wave of his staff, the Rx Pen, Endo conjured a beast like no other. Formed from the power of lightning, the miracle of insulin, and the technology of the future, Endo presented Martin with a new tool for fighting Adulthood in Diabetes…the Animas 1250 insulin pump!
With the Animas 1250, Martin was not only able to bring peace back to the kingdom, but he was also able to partake in the joy of eating at odd times, sleeping until midday on the weekends, exercising without having to eat more calories than burned, and even indulging in the occasional late night ice cream.
Yet, Adulthood would not go quietly into the pages of Diabetes history. Watching and learning how the power of the Animas 1250 was wielded, Adulthood planned its attacks carefully and maliciously. Adulthood would test the weaknesses of the Animas 1250 by introducing a slow and steady low blood sugar, fooling Martin into believing that nothing was wrong.
Finally, after Martin had spent a long day toiling in the fields, Adulthood struck in an attempt to finally capitalize on its long-awaited revenge. With a severe low of 33, Adulthood knew that its time had come to capture the throne.
Yet our fearless, well-groomed, and attractive hero was prepared. As Adulthood celebrated its victory and marveled at its use of a Larry Low, Martin fought back the surprise attack with the spirit of the swamp, Gatorade! Adulthood cowered in defeat, outmatched by the sugars and electrolytes in the magical potion.
Although Adulthood was defeated once again, Martin realized that the Animas 1250 was no longer the superior weapon in the Diabetes fight. Martin once again turned to Endo for a solution. Endo, who had locked himself away in the Diabetes research labs for years in anticipation of this day, with a mighty wave of the Rx Pen, revealed a new pump from the technological land of Medtronic…the MiniMed Revel!
To this day Martin and the MiniMed Revel rule the land of Diabetes with a plastic grip. Partnered with the built-in omniscient Continuous Glucose Monitor, the influences of Adulthood on the kingdom of Diabetes have been mostly kept at bay, with only an occasional uprising. However, no one in the land of Diabetes can forget the low blood sugars that almost kept them from these prosperous times. Anticipating the next time Adulthood tries to rise up, the people of Diabetes vow to always remain a community, to support each other, to be Friends For Life, and to never give up in the fight for a cure, when Diabetes and Adulthood can finally live free from one another.
Love, love, love, love it!!!!! Very creative–I’m quite impressed! Yay for our hero and his trusty pump!
I love a happy ending to a fairy tale! That was AWESOME Martin!!! I came much later into life with MDI and then pumping – due to being kept in a tower for a few decades(I don’t like having long hair – so couldn’t pull the Prince up to save me). I did escape – as Disney built a roller coaster next door – and I jummped on for the ride to begin another fairy *tail* of my own!
Loved this! What an interesting way to present your pump story. Very creative =)
I think your story is awesome. I seriously just laughed out loud at work about your “sword aiming at the magic strips”. Best use of words I’ve read in a while. 😀
What a great bedtime story! You are a handsome (and mostly well-groomed) hero and I am so proud of you and your epic victories over Diabetes. The only thing missing in this story is a fair-haired maiden… 🙂