The term “intimacy” is something usually reserved for romantic situations, emotions and secrets best shared in the dark, by candlelight, maybe with Barry White or Marvin Gaye lending their vocal stylings to the mood, and cookies on the nightstand…you know, just in case of a low. However, when I give myself a chance to examine what and why I share about my life with diabetes, I realize that “intimacy” is the perfect word for it.
The #HAWMC blog post challenge for today asks bloggers to reflect on “why you write about your health.” I write to advocate for people with diabetes, for better treatments, and increased awareness. I write to encourage, to show that a positive outlook and an amazing life is still possible even with a death defying disease.
As much passion as I have for other PWD’s living their lives to the absolute fullest, I also write for me. For 28 years I lived my life quietly with diabetes, only really broadcasting it in very close circles of friends and family. Many people who knew me my entire life never knew that I had diabetes.
For the most part with my diabetes, I kept the intricacies of what I feel, experience, get frustrated with, and celebrate to myself. Several years ago while on a bike ride I got the idea for Diabetically Speaking, but it never really got the support to grow much bigger than just an idea; or maybe I was the one that didn’t get the support. Last year, with the encouragement from A-Flizzle and maybe my own desire to finally accept my life with diabetes, I broke through my diabetic wall. I couldn’t take being alone with it anymore. I needed to let my world with diabetes out of the box, out of its cage, out of the proverbial diabetes closet.
I began by following other people with diabetes on Twitter. That was the first time in my life that I really started interacting and sharing intimate details of my life with other people who deal with the same things that I do every single day, who understand how it feels, and know what I really mean when I say, “I’m high” or “I’m low.” The Diabetes Online Community (DOC) helped me find my diabetic voice, and has helped me to stand up for myself and for others with diabetes.
Diabetes is an invisible illness. You may see an insulin pump or a blood test kit, but you don’t see what the person actually lives with. You don’t feel what the person actually lives with.
I write to share my life…OUR LIFE…with diabetes. Our needle pricks. Our nights waking up having sweat through our clothes because of a low. Our embarrassment of having wet a bed while sleeping over at a friends’ house because of a high blood sugar. Our guilt from the burdens we unfairly must place on our friends and families. Our heartbreak at hearing our children say they wish diabetes had never happened to them. Our wishing diabetes had never happened to us.
I write to share my life…OUR LIFE…with diabetes. Our time together at diabetes camp. Our excitement when we hear another insulin pump beep in the wild. Our ability to make a joke at the expense of diabetes. Our incredible diabetes community. Our hopes. Our celebrations when we overcome the challenges that are thrown our way.
I write because OUR diabetes is best managed with the strength of a community behind it.
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing, Martin! I feel the same way about the DOC. Changed my life forever. Hugs!
Beautiful, Martin. Beautiful.
I know what you mean, and agree wholeheartedly. This post is gorgeous in its truth and reality, and in its love–love for your D-self, and for all of us in the DOC. Thanks for your courage and for sharing it!