Chain Gang (Photo by Patrick Denker, Flickr, CC 2.0)

Walking Contradiction

The Diabetes Blog Week challenge for today was to write ten things that I hate about diabetes.

I have struggled with this post all day long. It’s not that there aren’t things that I hate about diabetes. I’ve read so many other posts from my friends in the DOC, and I agree with every single one of them. Like…

…Jacquie’s list where she mentions the heartbreaking blue diabetes candle.

…Kelly’s list where she highlights critical insurance issues relating to diabetes.

…Jess’s list highlights the guilt and fear that often accompany diabetes.

…Mike’s list that captures the anger and helplessness that comes with diabetes.

…Scott’s list and all the logistics of diabetes.

I sat down tonight and had a talkie talk with A-Flizzle about why I’m having such a hard time with this post. Her response was, “Martin, you can find the positive side to being in a chain gang. The reason you can’t find ten things to hate about diabetes is because that isn’t how you view your life with diabetes.”

Chain Gang (Photo by Patrick Denker, Flickr, CC 2.0)

Photo by Patrick Denker, Flickr, CC 2.0

She’s right. I don’t typically think of diabetes in terms of hate. Sure, there are things I don’t like about diabetes. I’ve certainly had my days where I’ve looked up with tears in my eyes and said to someone, no one, anyone that I’m tired of diabetes. It’s not always easy. Still, I try my best not to give all the aggravations of diabetes so much power that they become all I can focus on.

I try to find the positive side of things and not dwell on the things that aren’t perfect in this world; especially not the things that I can’t do anything about.

I have diabetes. Diabetes does not have me.

Without the dark of night, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the beauty of a sunrise or a sunset. Life can sometimes be a little sweeter with diabetes. I spent 28 years of my life with diabetes not knowing anyone else with this disease, and living every single day with it more alone than I ever realized. Today I know more people with diabetes than I can count, and I meet new friends every single day who overcome it just like I do.

I hate that, but at the same time, I love it. I’m a diabetic walking contradiction.

5 comments

  1. I had trouble with this prompt too. Sure, diabetes sucks. But I try not to focus on the negatives too much. It’s just one part of my full life.

  2. Martin, I love this post. It is in our nature to find a way to mentally work past/through all of the crap and try to find positives. Sure, we all fight the crud sometimes, but I don’t know many of us who willingly stay there. We all fight our way out and through.

    Thanks man, great post.

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