I Am Number 104

I Am Number 104

National Health Blog Post Month, Day 1: Title of my future book. Say you’re writing a book about your life, community, condition, or Health Activism. Come up with a working title and a quick synopsis.
NHBPM_2011_Day01

If a book were to be written about my life, I would like to think that it would be a New York Times Bestseller. Or at least a quality eBook. It would be full of all the things that make a bestseller. A beginning with challenges that must be overcome, a series of successes and setbacks, a climactic battle of good versus evil where the hero (me) learns to use his weakness (diabetes) as his strength, and of course a happy ending with the potential for a sequel. It would also be full of laughs, with just slightly inappropriate humor without being blatantly offensive.

When the book about my life is made into a screenplay, there is no question about who would play me on the big screen: Justin Timberlake.

I would say that Florida Governor Rick Scott would play the evil Dr. Diabeetus in the movie adaptation of my book, but there has already been a Lord Voldemort in popular classics, so that market is pretty much cornered.

Rick Scott Lord Voldemort Lookalike

Rather than getting a real life evil person to star in the movie of my life, I guess I will just have to rely on the next best person to play my pancreatically powered arch rival: Lindsay Lohan.

As any who’s who in Hollywood knows, a great movie also deserves a great soundtrack. Mine would feature a veritable hodgepodge of artists and musical styles, including Fireflight, Lady Gaga, Our Lady Peace, Stone Sour, Florence + The Machine, and a chart topping duet featuring Eminem and Adele. There would be no country music featured on the soundtrack either, unless Taylor Swift decided to partner with Jay-Z to throw down some rhymes for a bonus track.

The book, movie, and soundtrack about my life will all go on to break publishing, box office, and sales records, hauling in loads of cash that would then be spent to fund the cure for diabetes. And maybe a new MacBook Pro so I can finally multitask during Google Hangouts. This would all be done over the course of about 2-3 years, which seems reasonable enough to me. The FDA would try to slow down progress on the cure, but Samuel L. Jackson would step in as my adviser and open up his BMF wallet and pay them to STFU and get out of the way.

So that is how it is all going to go down people. I hope you’re ready for it. I think it has quite an (mg/dL) inspired title…

I Am Number 104

This post was written as part of National Health Blog Post Month (NHBPM) – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J

National Health Blog Post Month

3 comments

  1. Great post!! Justin Timberlake is a natural choice as you both love a good fedora! But I highly doubt he could rock the plaid as well as you. Now who will play your lady love, the one that helps you defeat the evil (and desperately in need of a group hug) Dr. Diabeetus??

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