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January 2012

MTV True Life: I Have Diabetes…and Support

So I’m a day late, but I watched the MTV True Life: I Have Diabetes episode last night, and I have a confession… I didn’t hate it.

The first thing some folks may want to jump on is that MTV didn’t get all the facts about diabetes exactly right. Well, that is true, but they were at least playing the correct sport in the correct ballpark, so to speak. I’m starting to think that the only way to get all of the facts right about diabetes is to simply not talk about it at all. I’ve had diabetes for more than three decades, and I don’t always get all the facts right either. So there. Overall, I think MTV did a good job, and presented a group of people and a subject that folks can actually care about (as opposed to “True Life: I Scratch Myself in Inappropriate Places in Public” or “True Life: I Toot Glitter and Crap Rainbows”).

Actually, I might would watch that last example. But anyway, moving on…

I could identify the most with Kristyn, a young girl in her mid-twenties with Type 1 diabetes who is faced with the realization of the abominably high costs of living as an adult with diabetes. Pumps, pump supplies, insulin, strips, pens, pills, and any other medications that we may have to take adds up to a lot, even with insurance. Without it, it’s kind of mind blowing how much this stupid disease can cost. I can relate because right now I’m starting the research of switching insurance companies just because my own costs are slowly but surely creeping into the danger zone. Diabetes already cost me my pancreas, so I’m not really interested in it costing me an arm and a leg to go with it. (See what I did there?)

I’m really proud of Kristyn, because she’s taking control and sacrificing her independence as an adult to get control of not only her diabetes, but also the cost of living with diabetes. That is a really, really hard thing to do, and it’s admirable that she’s not accepting failure as an option, even when it seems like an uphill battle. Although her mom came across as a bit overbearing on the show, support is incredibly important for all of us, whether we have diabetes or not, and I’m glad Kristyn has that.

Yesterday, Kristyn somehow found Kim’s post about the episode, and now she is connected to several members of the Diabetes Online Community (DOC) via Twitter. I predict that it won’t be long before she is connected to more people with diabetes (PWD’s) both online and in real life, and is playing an even bigger role in our diabetes world. You read it here first.

Matt was someone else that I was a bit fascinated with. Matt is a college student, was portrayed as a party animal and heavy drinker, and also has Type 1 diabetes. Although I think Matt would do well with more support for living a high quality, action packed, totally excellent life as both a person and a person with diabetes, I wonder if he is ready. I can’t speak for everyone, but for me it was easy to catch myself judging Matt as a college kid that just doesn’t care about his life with diabetes as much as he cares about being the life of the party. I know that I like to do extreme things and have adventures, but I also enjoy feeling like I’m in control of my diabetes while I do them, and not having to choose between the two options. In my world, the two go together like peanut butter and jelly. But that’s MY world. That is what works for ME. Your diabetes, and Matt’s diabetes, may and probably does vary. There is not right or wrong…there simply is.

I would really hate for Matt to feel like he is viewed as anything less than what appeared to be a nice guy, just because he was portrayed as enjoying an alcohol-heavy college lifestyle on MTV. When the time comes that he is ready for changes that work for HIS diabetes and HIS world, or even if he just wants to reach out and say hello diabetes world, then I will be one of the first people in line to welcome and support him and celebrate life right along with him. (Matt, if you get to read this, just say when buddy.)

I really didn’t have a lot that I could relate to with Jen, as her diabetes was discovered while she was pregnant with her son. I can’t imagine how hard it is to transition from a life of taking care of yourself to a life of taking care of you AND a child. Add in having to learn how to also take care of Type 1 diabetes, and that sounds like a lot to deal with. But I know without a doubt that it is possible, and there are an army of D-Moms and PWD Moms and even just us old standard PWD’s who are out there in the world and eager to help.

If this episode of True Life did nothing else, it reminded me that any one of these struggles with diabetes could be my struggle with diabetes. I am so thankful for the people that I have met that have helped me to realize that diabetes is a big priority in my world, and I hope to show them the same compassion and understanding that they have shown me. Diabetes is hard, and it’s no joke sometimes. Having a group of amazing people to joke about it with, however, makes all the difference in the world.

MTV Moon Man - CC License - Photo by Deidre Woollard
CC License - Photo by Deidre Woollard

2012 Goals & Resolutions

Last year I put together a post of some of the things that I wanted to accomplish in 2011. My first goal was to get my A1C under 6.2. At my last three endo visits, my A1C was 5.6, 5.7, and 5.6. Goal achieved, sort of, but with that low A1C came a couple of dangerous lows. Those A1C’s don’t make me a “good diabetic” anymore than those dangerous lows make me a “bad diabetic.” It’s just proof that an ideal number goal that signifies that diabetes is in good control is also very close to the edge of a low blood sugar disaster.

I made a resolution last year to wear my CGM more regularly. I did mostly, yet those two aforementioned lows both outran my CGM’s ability to predict the low blood sugar in time for me to fix the problem myself. During the first low, my CGM started beeping while A-Flizzle was feeding me glucose tabs. (See also: This CGM technology stuff has got to improve if we ever hope to see a closed-loop artificial pancreas in reality.) Unfortunately, due to expired sensors, supply refill woes, and now a CGM transmitter that is no longer transmitting, I’ve been without my CGM for 2-3 months, and I can definitely tell because my BG’s are all over the place. Like that sweaty 35 this morning, followed by a headache inducing 237 at dinner tonight. I’m concerned about my next A1C, but I know that it is just data, and I know that I’m struggling, and I’m just going to put my faith in my endo, my CDE, and myself to work together and turn this beat around. Diabetes is hard enough. Why beat myself up about it?

My #2 and #3 goals were really all about exercise, and if I look at them explicitly, I failed them both. I did not run a 5K, nor did I find a group to start cycling with on a regular basis. I did, however, discover the joys of spin class, so I’m chalking those up as a sort of win.

One goal I had that I’m extremely disappointed about not achieving is to get down to a stable 165 lbs. The first half of this year I did phenomenal at losing some weight, eating low carb, getting some exercise in, and really feeling like I was on my way to a more fit me. Then I had that low BG seizure at the beginning of July, where I chewed up my tongue and could only eat really soft, bland, room temperature foods for about 2-3 weeks, and that sunk my battleship. I was traveling at the time, so I resorted to eating total garbage like macaroni and cheese, soft cookies, potatoes, and starchy things that I had done so well at resisting in the first half of 2011. Now, here at the beginning of 2012, I’m right back to where I started, maybe even a little heavier. I have some new weight-related goals in mind though, so rather than throwing myself a pity party, I’m going to try a healthy helping of encouragement instead.

Another resolution I had was to go to the ophthalmologist. I’ve written about this experience, but suffice it to say that I did indeed go, and I got my card the other day reminding me to make a new appointment, and it isn’t something I’m as afraid of as much as I once was. I’m calling that an accomplishment.

Other goals and resolutions involved having adventures, paying off some bills, getting diabetes stuff that I needed (like a new medical ID bracelet), and remembering that even though diabetes is ever present, it isn’t the only thing that is important in life. All of those things I can mostly say I succeeded at, and am not opposed to carrying those ideals forward in the new year.

So without further ado, I present my 2012 goals and resolutions.

Goals
1. A1C <= 6.2. Less would be good.
2. Pay off at least two debts.
3. Have an adventure…regularly. Take pictures. (I really can’t emphasize this one enough. It’s a MUST!)
4. NEW for 2012: Drop some heft. Goal weight, 175 lbs. I will re-evaluate once this goal is achieved.
5. NEW for 2012: Complete an urban disturbance/warrior 5K, where you climb walls, jump fire, wade through mud, etc. I don’t know the exact name of these types of races. I just know I want to do one.
6. NEW for 2012: I will have a pool nearby this year, so I’m going to start swimming again. I miss it bunches. Plus, I need to get my bikini body ready for…*cough*…nevermind. Nothing to see here. Move along people.
7. NEW for 2012: Be successful with at least one big thing for diabetes advocacy. Measure of success to be determined based on specifics of the diabetes advocacy activity. That should leave me plenty of room to cause trouble.

Resolutions
1. Wear CGM consistently.
2. NEW for 2012: Find and go to the dentist, in addition to endo and ophthalmologist.
3. NEW for 2012: Exercise at least 3 days a week, even if work, blogging, and rest have to be sacrificed in order to do so. This will help my strength, energy level, blood sugar stability, and entertainment value while strutting around without clothes on.
4. NEW for 2012: Blog consistently, but only if it meets self-imposed quality standards. Or includes a good laugh. Or both.
5. NEW for 2012: Stop letting other people dictate my emotions. Their Jedi mind tricks are no good here.

Yeah…that’s a good start.

Snow - 12-28-2011

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